Hello. This has been a part of my life for so long and I just want to get it out. I am the second of two children. My brother is 4 years older than me. My parents are good people. Growing up for me was interesting. Because of my stature, I began to get advances from older guys early in my life. I didn’t want to tell my parents because I did not know how they would react. However, I was free to tell my brother anything and everything.
Anytime I went to him crying about guys or any other thing, he offered a shoulder to cry on. The warmth and affection he gave me was something I always looked forward to. Sometimes the touches were too close but I liked it. I think he did too because he always seemed to enjoy it and he also didn’t like when I was with other guys, even those guys that I told him I like.
One day, we had sex. It was not something we planned. It just happened. It was painful and strange. But I wanted more. That happened July 2015. We have been having sex since that day and I am growing to love my brother more. There have been other guys that I loved, but my brother gets jealous anytime I get close to anyother guy and I don’t want him to be angry so I leave them.
I don’t know what to do. I wish I could marry my brother because I cant imagine what I would do without him, but I also know it is not possible. What do I do? I love him so much. I’m a Christian and I know what we are doing is wrong, but I don’t know how to stop. Please help me.