I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can’t apologize for being wrong
Then it’s just a shame on me
I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me
You can put the blame on me…

Today, I stand before you with a heavy heart. I have disappointed you and I’ve failed God. You all have shown great love and support for me and the ministry God has called me to. You have showered me and my family with words of encouragement and gifts. You have called from time to time to let me know how much you appreciate me. I’m sorry I betrayed that trust. Whatever decision you take after you hear this is fine with me. I totally understand. I messed up. Big time. I am sorry.

It all began two years ago. It was a season of my life when victory had become a recurring theme. So much so that it was getting boring. I did not feel the same drive I felt several years ago when I faced up to Goliath in the Valley of Elah or the several memorable battles that have followed. I was slipping. But the slide wasn’t a source of concern for me. I just wanted the thrill, the adrenaline rush that only something out of the ordinary could bring.

Sadly 18 months ago, I got that rush. It was in the spring. At the time when kings go off to war. You see, in that season of my life, I had begun to delegate responsibility to Joab and other officers. So, I was home when I should have been leading the troops. One evening, I saw a damsel from the vantage point of the palace roof. The rush came back! With full force. I felt a feral desire that I had not felt in years. A rush for blood. A rush of blood.

Looking back now, I wish I had seen the trap set before me. If I knew then, what I know now, I would have acted differently. The damsel was my friend’s granddaughter and my officer’s wife. Her name is Bathsheba.


It would be cruel and unwise for me to go into the details of the events that followed that have sadly become a part of history. The affair with Bathsheba. The conspiracy to kill Uriah. These are things that I would regret for the rest of my life.

I understand that a lot of you have looked up to as a beacon of light and a source of purity in this dark age. I am sorry I disappointed you. I have sought the forgiveness of God. Today, I seek your forgiveness. Not as a right that I deserve. But as a plea that I desire. Please forgive me. For the next few months I would be away from you. I would be undergoing intensive classes to correct my foundational flaws that have wrecked great havoc. Once again, I am sorry. Please find a place in your hearts to forgive me.


Writer’s comment: I imagined Mr. David Jesse, the king of Israel, addressing the people who he had let down. It takes a great man to own his wrongs and apologize for them. Passing the blame, though an easy act, isn’t the best thing to do. I learnt from the story that when we err, we should humbly seek forgiveness.

Another lesson from the story for me is how we should respond to fallen soldiers. I know that when people we hold highly mess up, we are hurt, angry and disappointed. But then, that shouldn’t stop us from realizing that these men and women of God are still men and women. We should not idolize them and when they admit their wrongs, we should forgive them and correct in love. Christ has forgiven us; we should also forgive others.

So, up to you… What lessons did you learn from the story? I am looking forward to reading from you! 🙂


The lyrics in the first paragraph are from Akon’s song – Sorry, Blame it on me

Author: Iremide Akinsola

I am a Christian. I enjoy reading, writing, listening to music and watching football.


  1. Ire! Exclaiming your name is all I can do. The second lesson is vital; men and women of God are still men and women. I am learning to cover the ones I hold in high esteem in prayers, they it need the most.

    Liked by 1 person

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