LETTERS FROM MY HEART

Hello Ayomide,

Good morning. This message is the last I would be sending. To you. To anyone. Don’t freak out. Don’t call me. I won’t pick. Just read and pay attention. Haha. I know your mind would be thinking Credit Card. Our inside joke on PAYing attention.

Ore mi, there’s one thing I’m thankful for. Meeting you. Walking into JS 2 Joy in 2002, I didn’t know I was about to meet someone who would change my life. Thank you for being there every day since that day. Thank you especially for 2007. That crazy year. I was 17 and I missed my period. You were the first person I told. Do you remember how you screamed in the class and got punished by Mr. Adebisi? You couldn’t believe it.

You were angry with me and rightly so. You had warned me against hanging out with Sope but I didn’t listen. One thing was clear though, you still had my back. In the months that followed, almost everyone turned against me. You were one of the few that remained.

Ayo mi, you came to my house after school every other day. You teased me about my protruding belly and my chubby cheeks. On weekends, you went with me to the clinic for antenatal. Neighbours laughed and pointed fingers. Nurses made jest of me. I was the talk of the town. But ore mi, you didn’t care. You loved me.

The day Itunuoluwa was born, you were in Chemistry class. It was a Saturday and you were having extra lessons. I know because you told me the day before when you came to visit me after class. Ayo, do you know that you carried my baby before me? Hehe. You never knew, right? Well, I was so angry with the baby that I refused to carry her. My mum did but I didn’t care.

I was angry that this baby had resulted from a fling. Angry that it had cost me a year of my education. Angry that it had tainted my parents’ ministry. Or how else would I explain the fact that I, the Pastor’s daughter, had gotten pregnant at age 17? All these kept me from carrying my baby. But then you came into the room. I think ran would be a better word to use. You carried my baby and the smile on your face…Nah, it melted my heart.

But Ayomide, that was then. Life is different now. Now…I’m a 29 year old single mother who graduated with a Second Class Lower degree five years ago but is yet to get a reasonable job. I’m the one that is used as an example to scare young girls in the church. Stop sleeping around or you’ll end up like Reverend’s daughter… Ayomide! I’m sick and tired.

God knows I didn’t sleep around. It was just Sope and it was only three times. I know it was wrong but then it’s not like I killed anybody na! That was more than 10 years ago and I’m still carrying the tag, Oniranu! I’m sick and tired.

My parents love me but every time I see or speak to them, I can’t miss the disappointment in their voices. They must feel I am a reproach to them. No man wants to marry me. Me sef would I marry me if I had a choice?

See ehn, I’m tired of causing everyone pain and so I am going to end it. Thank you for sticking with me all these years. Help me thank your husband for being such a great encourager. My regards to your lovely children. Please help me take care of my daughter. I’m sure she would find a home in your family.

Goodbye, Ayomide.

Author: Iremide Akinsola

I am a Christian. I enjoy reading, writing, listening to music and watching football.

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