“I’m sorry I can go on with this any longer. It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve way better than this, honestly. The man that will marry you will be the luckiest man on earth.” That was 2016. Bola remembered Richard telling her those words. They had been together for 3 years and were planning for their introduction when he dropped the bombshell. Seeing the love of her life walk away hurt her so much. The pain got worse when he got married to her close friend 6 months after their breakup.
That was then. This is now. Segun is now. They met at a forum in Ikoyi which was organized for young professionals. Segun is the best thing that has happened to her. It was with him that she felt that giddy feeling that she had not experienced since Richard walked away. Beyond the feelings, she knew this was it. God had sent her comfort and she couldn’t wait to walk down the aisle with him.
Segun, on his own part, loved Bola, but he was afraid of the signs he was seeing. Talking with his best friend, he recalled three incidents that communicated his concern.
Bola: Segun, why did not pick my call yesterday night? If you are tired of this relationship, let me know o. Ehen. Don’t be deceiving me o. I am strong enough to handle rejection. I’ve been there before. So don’t pity me o. Just tell me the truth.
Segun: Bola. Bolanle Adegbile. Yesterday was Friday night. 24th of May. Does that ring any bell?
Bola: Ah I forgot!
Segun: When I saw your call this morning, I thought you were calling to ask me about my ministration at the vigil. I thought you wanted to tell me that you were praying for me. I thought you wanted to ask if I had slept well. I didn’t expect this.
Bola: I’m sorry, it’s not like that. My comfort, please don’t be angry.
Segun and Bola were on their way to the car park of Ikeja City Mall after seeing a movie. They were a few meters away from where the vehicle was parked when Segun remembered that he wanted to get something inside the mall. He gave Bola the key and asked her to wait for him in the vehicle.
Bola opened the car and sat, waiting. As she waited, her eyes caught a shiny paper on the back seat. She took it and opened. It was an invitation card. She knew it! This Segun guy was too good to be true.
When Segun arrived, with tears streaming down her face, she confronted him. “Segun, why did you do this to me? I was just beginning to trust you and to believe that you are different from the rest and now this. So you are getting married to someone else! Ah. Segun.”
Segun shook his head and collected the card from her. “Bola, why are you allowing your fears rule you? You didn’t even check the name on the card very well. Abi you have forgotten that my name is Segun Adetoye? The person who is getting married is Segun Olatoye and I don’t even know him. It is his fiancée that is my colleague. My dear, calm down. I’m not going anywhere. I love you. I really do.”
“I’m sorry dear. But the thing is that Richard also told me that he loved me and see how that ended. I don’t want to make the same mistake and that’s why I am on my guard. I’m sorry dear. Ma binu. Ife mi. Ore mi. My treasure.”
As they concluded one of their long calls one evening, Segun gave a little speech and ended with “Thank you for helping me on the path to fulfillment. I love you, Bola.” He heard the laughter from the other side of the phone and then she responded, “I love you too, Richard.”
Segun’s best friend, Goodness, shouted “Ah!” when he heard the third case, but showing great wisdom, he salvaged the situation.
Goodness: Baba, one thing I can tell you confidently is that Bola loves you. I am very sure of that. However, she has not gotten over the love she had for Richard and the pain that he caused her. So, although you can’t see him, Richard is a part of your relationship. He’s the offender. You are the scapegoat. He’s the third wheel in your love keke marwa (tricycle).
Segun: Better stop that. Don’t let me change it for you.
Goodness: No vex, bros. A verse came to my mind now. Hebrews 12:1. “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight…”
Goodness: The Passion Translation puts a spin on it that fits this situation. “As for us, we have all of these great witnesses who encircle us like clouds. So we must let go of every wound that has pierced us…” Every wound.
Goodness: Most of us have weights that we are carrying around. At least me I know I have weights. That’s why Jesus said in Matthew 11:28, “Are you weary, carrying a heavy burden? Then come to me. I will refresh your life.”
Your babe needs to let go of the heavy duty she’s carrying. The hurt, the pain, the frustration. She needs to let it go if she’s to get the best that God has for her. For both of you. Don’t worry, just find time to explain your fears to her, I’m sure she’ll change. Sorry my brother, see as your face don change. Kai. Love ehnnnn.
Segun: It’s not your fault o.
Goodness: No vex, bros. Let us pray. “Heavenly Father, we thank you for your love. Overwhelming. Never-ending. Reckless. Excess. We thank you for the light of your word. Lord, we pray for every person who is carrying weights as a result of wrongs done to them or done by them. We ask that you’ll help them to bring the weights to the foot of the Cross and leave them there! Give them the peace that surpasses human understanding. Thank you, Lord, for answered prayers. In Jesus name, we have prayed.